Quicky of an update....

Dude, there's so many awesome pics of adventures we've been on, big and small, while I've been absent from cyberspace....and I totally cant wait to flood you with them all!!

But, these pics take a heck of a time to edit and all that goes along with getting them on here from my crappy slow lappy, that in the mean time I shell just word vomit all our news!!

Soooo.....lots has happened, besides the baby situation, and I'm kinda bored with so much of my focus being given to the whole fertility issue that we'll just shelve that for now, ok? Cool.

Firstly, we've moved!!

Our rental property has been put up for sale, luckily we're no strangers to this, coz unluckily this is how we've left all of our rentals. Three times, it gets tiring!

We got the news around the start of the year, but then after crappy advertising on their part and lack of signing off from the second owner(two separate people owned the property), they notified us that it was now to be sold upon vacation of tenants, sold empty, so bye bye us.  I loved this news, was hoping for this news, I hated that house!

We moved to that house in desperation, when JackJack was 8mths old, having had to live apart, staying at our parents(Tyler at his mums, Jack and me at mine), and we took what we could get.  We had the idea that we'd not stay long, didn't unpack non essentials such as our books and ornaments, good crockery's and such....expecting to be able to put them back on the ute and get outta there soon enough. But, along with the slum of a house, my husband got in a slum, and we went no where....so the real estate kicking us out was music to my ears!!! I couldn't wait to leave!
Being back on the rental market was scary, or so I thought, I was under the belief that it was even harder now then it was 3yrs ago. Other friends who were looking were having loads of rejection, but, thanks to our brilliant cover letter-along with a picture of us to put a face to the applicants- we were in!! Our first application and we had a house!!! Not just a house, but a home. We were so unbelievably lucky. Still in the same estate that we already lived in, halving what was already a short walk to my parents house, halving our walk to the awesome local playground, a two storey house with steps that totally blew JackJack's little mind with how exciting they were to go up and down, and a load of cast off spare tyres in the back shed that we told the owners they could leave....coz our car mad son couldn't wait to play with them!!!  This place is awesome, it feels warm, with heart. It's backyard is a wide open space, with 2 garden sheds and a beautiful purple flowered vine that lines most of the fence line. A tree up the back that Uncle Dan and Daddy have hung one of the tyres off to make a wickedly fun tyre swing! The clothes line is the most accessible of all the rental properties we've been at, and I've gotten so good at hanging all my laundry loads out for the sunshine to dry....getting rid of all those terrible black balloons from the carbon footprint of our dryer.   speaking of the clothes line, omg one day mum and I were sitting in the yard watching JackJack play, and I had my lovebirds cage hanging on the clothes line and 14 rosella's came and sat on the line!! 14!!!! What an awesome sight!!  Having grown up with our backyard backing onto a golf course, where we often saw kookaburras and rosella's singing in the trees, along with lizards and other rarer visitors such as echidna's.....I am sooo excited to see that the plants around our new home is attracting some wonderful wildlife for my boy to meet!
Two toilets, one in the bathroom upstairs and one off the laundry downstairs, means offensive smells need not permeate my bedroom when hubby needs to "drop the kids off at the pool" as he vially says!  We have a big window in the kitchen and JackJack loves to watch the school kids on foot and work traffic drive by as we eat our breaky, and especially exciting to see the garbage truck pick up our rubbish on bin day, plus in the arvo we see the postie bike. At first I thought the openness of the front yard, lack of high fence, would be lack of privacy....but the openness is proving so entertaining for our vehicle mad boy!
Oh, and the neighbours, we've gone from not knowing anyone in our last street and having a backyard mechanic next door who revved the crap outta cars and power tools, too......the other half of our two storey(duplex? semi detached?) is my childhood lollypop lady at primary school, the other side is an ex-member of the local SES where Tyler and I met, and across the street is my best friends parents house! Plus, one of the families left an Easter card in our door to welcome us to the street!
Ok, nuff bout the house, more news....
I have a new car!!!
We had a Ford Territory, a car I thought would be awesome, but it was full of problems and most of all, (with the sucky fertility crap) it felt so monstrously big coz I never got to fill it full of kids.  So we down graded, back to a hatch, but the prettiest hatch I ever did see!!! It's....PINK!!!! So so pretty pink, like a musky pink, so funky. And easy peesy to park, tiny car that fits anywhere I wanna get it into ;) Love love love! Tyler jokes that now that we have a tiny 4 seater car, we'll end up gettin twins in meh belley...hahaha funny thing is the medical crap we gotta do has a high rate of twins, haha....I'm too attached to my gorgeous Flossy(my cars name!), we'll have to squize 'em all in somehow ;)
JackJack is starting his journey in the world of Steiner education this term!!!!
While my Aunt was down visiting last month, she chatted to me about how much the Steiner format of education would suit my little families beliefs and lifestyle, she is actually a retired primary school teacher with experience in Steiner schools. So, after the seed was planted, I looked into it and found a playgroup on the Peninsula, who's organisation is hoping to build up a Steiner primary school, starting with prep in 2012, Jack is due to start prep in 2013, perfect!!!
And finally, we're going on holiday!!!
Mum had booked herself flights to go stay with my Aunt in Qld for a week next month, and after many failed attempts of talking Dad into joining her(he wont stay with relo's...think of all the holidays they've missed out on coz of that), we were chatting and I joked I'd go with her...and omg I am! Haha it all happened in a whirl, called Tyler to see of we could juggle funds to get the cheap flights Mum had found(not as cheap as we first thought after tax and luggage and such, but still), we're going! Argh!!!!
This will be my first time out of the state!!!! Haha, just before I turn 29yo, finally! JackJack is getting to do it way younger ;)  I'm so freakin excited, I'm writing down addresses to send postcards to, yay I love postcards!!!
Anyhoo, that's about it right now..... xxxxx 

Dusting off the cobwebs...

Been a while....

I've been shying away from the cyber world....no blogging and no facebooking.

It's been maybe a month now, since we've had our answers given to us about our secondary infertility. 

All along I'd kept my blog updated with what was going on, put it in statuses on facebook, but now I just need to pull back.....

We have answers.  I'm not sure it's ok for me to share them, it's not just my story, it's ours.

The answers aren't the end, they're the beginning of a bigger picture, a long road ahead, and we need to ready ourselves emotionally, physically and financially. To create life, born from mine and my husbands genetics, we now need to involve medical procedures. 

We have had many a chat, discussion, debate, yelling match, crying, silence, numbness, avoidance....over this.

I chose to take a step back from my cyber life and most of my social interactions, because this space was needed for my husband and me alone.  I felt I owed it to our lives together to sit with it and bite my tongue, bide my time, until it felt ok to be open with him on how I was feeling and listen and comfort him on how he feels.

We're not out the other side yet.....so I'm not ready to step back into the swing of life, just here to check in, and let everyone know we have heard through my mum and friends, that you've been thinking of us and sending love.  I want you to know, I'm not hibernating and curled up in the fetal position as such! Far from it, I chose to step back so that I could fully focus on just us, and that when the dust settled and we figured out our next move, I could take comfort in the fact that it was me who got me through!! Ya know? Sometimes we lean too much on others, and the outcome can make us feel that we only got through because of the other people, I need to feel that I am strong and I am capable. It is extremely liberating to me (coming from a background of self harm), to see how I have dealt with this in the last few weeks. I have not bottled up emotion, but I certainly have dealt with it in a far healthier way then prior occasions ;-)  I also felt too, that in past times that I have shared things on facebook, the comments of well meaning friends can sometimes turn your little mole hill into a mountain of worry, I didn't want others inputs, opinions and least of all, pity. I hope we are not provoking pity. Please don't feel bad or sad when you think of us, we will get there, our turn to expand our family will surely come ;-)

Taking this time has also been full of lessons. A wonderful lesson of how biding your time can have much benefits! I usually am passionately speaking my mind up front, but before I give my mind the chance to articulate into words what I'm wanting to portray, and this has often got me into a pickle....once someone hears you say one thing, they don't want to hear you try to explain yourself if they didn't like what first came outta your mouth....ha something that's happened to me a few times lately ;-S

Sitting on this and not acting first up, has seen us have some fantastic conversations. Open and honest and compassionate chats! Less of the blame game, the silent treatment, no shutting down on either side.

Another lesson learnt, we are learning, is that a one child family we are not meant to be!!

In taking time out of socialising, we've had extra time for internalising attentions into our little family. The attentions we have given our son, our funny cheeky little man, is proving too much! haha To intense is our love, my love, for him. I have to much, too much love for but one child, he has made it clear in moments, that I need to spread it over other little humans too ;)  Likewise, he was never meant to be an only child. He thrives so exquisitely in the company of other children, his little cousins that he dotes over and his big cousins that he idealises. He craves the companionship of a sibling just as much as I yearn for more babies, for my family to expand into the luscious loud circus family that I dreamt of!!!!!

Anyway, I'll leave it there.

So much more news to catch up on, soon!

We've moved house(still on the tail end of the hideous clean up of the old place and unpack of the new place), and I'm going on an exciting adventure next month, that'll tick off two of my long awaited life goals!!!

This is our life, and it's a good life. We have a son and he is so completely lighting our path to many more joyous moments to come;-)

xxx