I know you'll read this, and it's probably bloody selfish of me to put it out there, you're in the thick of it, you shouldn't be thrown any more your way. But I need to, need to vent, need to tell you, but I cant coz you'll cry, I'll cry, I wont get out what I need to say, and I want to say it, you're my go-to person, who else do I say this to?
So here goes...
As I sit here, at your computer, you're snoozing on the couch, you're not energetic, you're not greatly mobile and you're so fragile like a child, yet I'm your child.
So here goes...
As I sit here, at your computer, you're snoozing on the couch, you're not energetic, you're not greatly mobile and you're so fragile like a child, yet I'm your child.
Don't leave me.
Don't leave us.
I know it's out of your hands, only fate has the answer, but I can't loose you.
Don't make me a motherless mother.
I know how damn lucky I am, not just to have a mother, but a bloody good mother.
I know I've had you longer then you had your own mother.
But I know how bloody hard it has been for you to be a motherless mother.
No mother to ask for advice, just memories to look back on for answers.
Not all questions get answers and you fumble in the dark.
Not all questions get answers and you fumble in the dark.
Don't let me know what that feels like.
I know I can do this mothering thing on my own, I know I'm going ok, but it's with you guiding me.
I am who I am coz you were right there, don't leave that spot, not yet.
The boys have for warned of this for so long, worry of my closeness, worry that I am dependent on you. I've always thought it didn't matter if it were true, it's not so bad to be an adult child and still need your mother, is it? Not when your mother is you!
You're my mother and you rock at the gig, you're my mentor, my confidant, my conscious, my best friend.
Fight this, fight it hard, don't let your premonition come true. I hate your premonitions, to hell with your premonitions, I need you.
Dad needs you.
How is he going to go on without you?
Who will hold his hand in the shops so he doesn't get lost in his wanderings?
Who will make sure the public toilets are marked out in his journeys?
Who will know that his face is just a public front and let him think he gets away with his hiding in his room and the garage when it all gets to much?
Who will keep the door open for visitors when he's hermitting himself away?
Don't leave.
Don't go, we're not done with you yet.
You haven't seen all the grandchildren yet.
Don't go.
Wait.
They will come, I promise you, they will come.
They will come and shine such a light on you that you will never want to leave.
Which is good, that's what I want.
Don't leave.
The boys have for warned of this for so long, worry of my closeness, worry that I am dependent on you. I've always thought it didn't matter if it were true, it's not so bad to be an adult child and still need your mother, is it? Not when your mother is you!
You're my mother and you rock at the gig, you're my mentor, my confidant, my conscious, my best friend.
Fight this, fight it hard, don't let your premonition come true. I hate your premonitions, to hell with your premonitions, I need you.
Dad needs you.
How is he going to go on without you?
Who will hold his hand in the shops so he doesn't get lost in his wanderings?
Who will make sure the public toilets are marked out in his journeys?
Who will know that his face is just a public front and let him think he gets away with his hiding in his room and the garage when it all gets to much?
Who will keep the door open for visitors when he's hermitting himself away?
Don't leave.
Don't go, we're not done with you yet.
You haven't seen all the grandchildren yet.
Don't go.
Wait.
They will come, I promise you, they will come.
They will come and shine such a light on you that you will never want to leave.
Which is good, that's what I want.
Don't leave.
