Secondary Infertility- a microbe of an update....

Got an appointment with a local gyno, this friday arvo.

Also have emailed my referral/ultrasound results and brief of medical history off to my school mate who offered to try and get me in to a clinic where she works.

Secondary Infertility, smidge of an update...

So I thought I'd blog this, to remember it, as a record.

A new symptom.

New?

Or just noticing it more now I know what's there?

Day 3 of my cycle, and I've been experiencing extreme period pain.

I know this pain has been happening for more then just this cycle, it's familiar.

It's location is also something important to note....it's on the right, it's most likely where the mass is, I'm guessing. 

It's an excruciating stitch feeling that's radiating ache around it.

It's been present all day, but I didn't actually notice that it's epicentre is at the right until I sat here in the silence of the night, without my tot on me.

I now wonder how long this has been happening?

It's a familiar feeling of my most recent menstrual cycles, but when it began I cannot pin point.

I'm also aware that heat intensifies it....my tot sitting on my knee, leaning his warmth onto my belly. Even eating warm foods, gives off a sort of braxton-hicks type of feeling.

I also noticed that breastfeeding is giving this feeling too during my period.

I am wondering if my uterus is contracting and around the mass is tight during the contractions??

Panadeine extra did bugger all to curb the pain too.

It's actually making me feel nausea's, I felt as if I could have vomited after I ate dinner tonight and now again, I'm sitting here awake at 1.30am because I feel awful.

Anyhoo, this is just to record this down to remember it....

not having a pity party.....

lalala, happy face, smile, rainbows and fairy floss ;)

Globally, these miners lives are minor...

This week in New Zealand, 29 miners lost there lives, following 2 explosions while they were underground.

Many tributes have spread across the news and social media, as it should, as they deserve, but do you know how many lives were lost this week on Earth?

I'm putting this out there, to challenge the thoughts of those so focused on how devastating this one incident is.
These miners knew the risks they took everyday, their families too surely knew that each time they said goodbye there was a chance it would be the final time, it's a dangerous job these men did....and they got paid accordingly for those risks!
Yes, it's a huge tragedy, more so even for the younger miners who had barely lived life yet, more so for the miners who left behind a family of young children, but what about all the other lives lost this same week?
One night this week, while all the leading reports on the news were based around this situation in NZ, 380 people died in Cambodia and at least 750 more were injured. This news piece was buried in the half hour news report on television, as if barely rating a mention. But these Cambodians, unlike the NZ miners, didn't start their day with the possibility of danger being a risk of their activities. They were attending a celebration, a water festival. Certainly not expecting danger.
380 deaths occurred at a happy occasion, yet barely news worthy. 
Why? I ask.
Is it a racial situation?
Were these Cambodians over looked because of the colour of their skin? Their country of birth?
As the NZ tragedy was spread over pages and pages of the morning newspaper, a teeny tiny little snippet in the corner of one of the pages reported that in Columbia there is 9 miners currently trapped, after a similar explosion to NZ, not yet known if alive.....blink and you miss that little piece, and I can't even find a link to it online, that's how news worthy journalists think that is *eye roll*
While searching for the story of the Colombian miners, I did however find a news piece from may this year of  30 deaths in a Siberian mine, with more missing. Anyone hear about that one? I know I didn't.
We did hear about the 33 Chilean miners rescued after 69 days of being trapped underground, but I guess this is a feel good story right? Not deaths.
Why are the stories of these many deaths going so unnoticed? 
Why has these 29 NZ miners deaths made people look at and appreciate their lives, yet the 380 Cambodian deaths seemingly not effected people?
Why is the net being flooded with tributes for these New Zealanders, yet not for the Cambodians?
What is the difference?
Why does it seem the miners deaths are more of a shock then the festival attendee's deaths?
The miners knew they faced danger every single time they entered that mine, the festival attendees didn't. To me, it's far more shock to be killed at a celebration then at a work place.
What is the difference?
Is it the colour of their skin???


Secondary Infertility update...

Yesterday was my gynaecologist appointment, I had been anxiously waiting for this moment for 2wks.  The gynaecologist has been seeing me since early teens, having done my previous laproscopies and D&C's, I walked into the appointment nervous of what his treatment options would be, but completely confident in him as my doctor.

What a fucking mistake that was.

He skimmed over the report from the scan, mumbled that he already knew about the fibroid from the last laproscopy, said "nothing to worry about" and went onto writing up a request for bloods to check for fertility markers.

Hmmm.....in my head I was questioning-Had I just spent the last 2wks worrying over nothing? Did my GP over=react to the reported findings? Why am I not feeling relieved that the gyno's not worried?

I realised it wasn't sitting right with me, it wasn't ok.

I asked him "what about the mass in the report"...he skims the report again and arrogantly says "argh I already knew about the fibroid" (the report mentions the little fibroid we knew about, but it also mentions the pcos and the mass-neither of which he acknowledged), I tried several attempts of saying "not the fibroid, the mass, in the report", he kept brushing me off....gave me the blood request paperwork and told me to come back in 4wks, as I walked out he said something about "so we need to get one more baby out of you huh" and I turned and said "no, heaps more, I want lots of babies!"....and for the first time in that whole consult he looked up and made proper eye contact with me and told me I was looking good and smiled(was that coz he suddenly registered that he had potentially many more years of consults out of me with my hopeful heaps of babies??)

One lucky thing is that he bulk bills, so that waist of time didn't cost me a cent! lol

But when I went to walk out, I knew it didn't feel right, so I asked the receptionist if I could see my GP(who's in the same office), she buzzed him and he said I could wait and be seen next.

Turns out my gyno has a hit and miss reputation, just that luckily for me he was a hit in the past.  My GP said he is finding his extent of treatment depends on the mood he's in on the day, musta caught him on an off day, great!

I asked my GP for a referral for a 2nd opinion(or 1st really), he was happy to oblige and gave me an open referral so that I could ask around for a recommendation from friends.

This afternoon I went to the office of one of the recommended gyno's, it was kinda weird....I had to take in my report and letter, then after the doctor had a look at them I had like a consult with a lady(practice manager? patient liaison?) and she explained that this doctor's public surgeries are performed at the Royal Women's Hospital in the city and there is no continuity of care so he may not even be the doctor to perform the operation. She suggested seeking a gyno who works at our local public hospital, though wasn't helpful in suggesting who they are!
So I have a few more recommended doctors to call today.
I also have a school friend who has offered to show my reports to doctors where she works, in the hope that I may be able to be seen in the public system there, she works at a hospital not far from my suburb. I have to scan my reports and type up my own letter explaining the condition, to extend on the very brief referral letter from my GP and email to her.
Meanwhile, all appointment making aside, things are pretty much in limbo here with even trying on our own with our fertility now.  Tyler has decided that until we know more about what the mass is, we are not "trying" for a baby, because it would be just our luck that the baby would finally be conceived only for us to find the mass is needing removal and the baby can not stay....a decision he knows I could not cope with.
Umm so what are the positives here?
OK.....
-Enjoy JackJack in his toddlery goodness, all of our focus on him alone, and relish in all of his awesomeness.
-Being able to do activities that would not be possible if I were pregnant(mental note-explore this one more and DO some activities to really make this time count!)
-That when we will finally be blessed with another babe, our little fella will be at a great age to join in and help look after baby, he is so gonna be an awesome bro!
Umm, yeah, that's all I got for now....plenty more negatives I don't wanna be focusing on though.
-

Jumpin on the JB wagon

So now I'm not gonna be confusing all the JB peeps I meet, who already think I am one of them coz I hang with so many of them.....I've jumped on board!

Joyous Birth is a forum many of my mates have been on for years, initially about homebirth and all things birthy, but also full of lots of great info and ideas for natural approaches to parenting and your health.

It was suggested to me to try there for help with the pcos, learn more about it and natural ways to approach kicking it in the butt ;)

I started last night on there and have already joined in a few threads....lets see how I keep this up, I'm not forum savvy, not computer savvy even! lol

I did sway off track from the pcos already....reading threads about treating tooth ache and infection....my golly, every time I come across natural health approaching type peeps, it makes me question every thing I learnt in my job as a dental nurse, the things they say about the dental treatments are a real eye opener.....as I'm sure I'll find a lot of things on JB will be ;)

Anyhoo, back off to read more over there......

First cut is the deepest....

Well, no actually, it's probably not much more then a graze in your skin as you're not sure of the strength in your hand to create harm to yourself, not sure that the pain you're inflicting on yourself is actually gonna help, but....then it does. 

It helps. 

It unexplainably helps. 

 It dangerously helps. 

And with each cut, it gets deeper. 

With each cut, as the skin opens up, so too does your emotional wounds....releasing the pressure, hurting less inside.

That cut gives you focus, detracts away from the internal combustion of hurt that you can't bare to feel anymore.  Gives you a pain that is justified in hurting, when you can't make sense of the hurt going on in your head.

Self harm.....the addiction.

It becomes addictive because that pain, that pain you can control, unlike the pain inside.

Other's may not make sense of it, may not even try to "get it", they fear it, fear what you're doing and how far you'll take it.

It's not something you do in front of anyone, of course not, it's not a show off tactic, it's a coping mechanism.  You don't display your wounds for anyone to question. 

If you do it, you do it safely.....a clean, dedicated blade....nothing blunt, rusty or dirty that could risk you infection. 

You don't do this as a lethal act, it's not to stop feeling, it's to start feeling.  No sense to that sentence, you were feeling plenty in your head, but what was happening in your head was not feelings you could deal with. Feelings from a physical wound are more straight forward and easier fixed then feelings from an emotional wound.

Speaking out, sharing this.....

To hold yourself accountable.

 To stand up and not be afraid. 

There's others out there, and they hide away, as you did many times before. 

But, when you hid, you had no idea they were out there, and it makes you feel crazy.

You're not crazy.

This should not be an issue hidden away.

More people come to harm because we hide away our taboo topics....self harm, depression, miscarriage, etc....other people need to hear about it, not shun it,  because it just might mean saving a life by speaking out.
The above post has been sitting, unpublished....the date on it is earlier this year, so it's been some time.  But given recent news, news that possibilities I don't want to think about, to feel, to hold.....it's time to publish this.
My skin is free of cutting right now.
I do not think lethally when cutting thoughts come over me.
I definitely, with no doubt in my mind, do not use the knife on anyone but myself....my son is in no danger. 
I can not promise this is not going to take me over again.
I publish this in the hope that on some level, you may understand.
I publish this in the hope that on some level, having spoken out about it, may make me second think it, now that loved ones may be looking for the signs

Secondary Infertility

So, I finally faced facts and decided it was time to look beyond the "breastfeeding acts as a contraceptive" and get further checks. I went to my GP last week and asked him if he could refer me for an ultrasound, I told him I felt something wasn't right, I felt my cycles weren't feeling normal and that I needed to know it was all working as such.

Just on a side note too...I started doing ovulation tests this month, with expert fertility friends in my ear about checking if I was actually ovulating.

Anyway, I had an internal ultrasound done and was told to call for a follow up appointment in about 3dys. Day 3, my gp's office called me. THEY called ME. Heart in throat, that's not good. They said I needed to come in to discuss results, hmm...discuss, so something was found....my mind flashed back to the ultrasound procedure, the synographer pressed on the right side of my stomach a lot as he was doing the internal scan, asking me if it was tender or hurt. I asked him if he had found something, he said he was just making sure both the ovaries weren't tender. Both....yet he didn't do that to the left side.

Mum came with me to the appointment, I couldn't get a time that Tyler could come to. The receptionist handed me the scan films to take in with me and as we sat in the waiting room I got curious and checked for a report.....didn't like what I read, but I guess we were only a few minutes off hearing it anyway! *sigh

My GP is lovely, I've been with him since early teens and he always starts with a little chat, these days mostly remarking on how big Jack is getting and that he doesn't hide in my sling anymore! lol

He went through the report bit by bit with me. Firstly that there is a 1-2cm fibroid on the uterus wall, which we already knew about from before Jack was in there and small fibroid are fine. Then he noted that both Fallopian tubes had a large amount of follicles.....I read this bit in the waiting room and thought this was a good thing, after all, my friend who had to do IVF got super excited when she produced follicles....wrong. Too many follicles are not good, he said, and indicates a hormone imbalance, this indicated that I have PCOS- poly cystic ovarian syndrome.  Not sure clearly what that is yet, but I have friends who have suffered it(and conceived!), and they have been starting to educate and support me in it ;)

So far, some pluses of PCOS is that I can apparently blame my weight gain and non budging of the flab on it. Woot  to that, ha ha

There was something else though.....the something that I thought was found on the right hand side. I had asked Tyler after the scan if he saw anything on the screen-anything the synographer may have been measuring, and he said no, but in all honesty my poor hubby looked mortified that another man was putting something inside his wife's vagina(never having been present for previous internals I've had), all be it medical....he was giving the man daggers! I doubt he looked at the screen.

The scan showed a mass. It is solid, not a cyst. It is attached to the wall of the uterus, near the opening of the right Fallopian tube(unclear as to whether it is in fact blocking/covering the Fallopian tube, but if it is that has also been halving our pregnancy chances), and it moves with the uterus. It is the approximate size of a squash ball. A squash ball, if you're not familiar, is bigger then a golf ball but smaller then a tennis ball. He said it may be a very large fibroid, but for a fibroid it is massive and at that size it needs to come out, unlike the other small one.  Then he went on to say other possibilities....sinister possibilities that start with the letter C. I cut him off, told him to shut up! lol Lucky he knows me so well and it wasn't taken as rudely!

He referred me to my gynecologist, who I've also been with since teens(he has done most of my previous laproscopies and D&C's). He only practices there once a fortnight, and was there that day, but finished up already, so I've got an appointment in 2wks time....though I said to my mum today that I might call his other office to get in earlier...the less wait the less thinking time, thinking of worst case crappy scenarios(I dreamt last night they gave me a hysterectomy).  The mass will need cutting out, so surgery, hopefully just day stay surgery and not taking me away from JackJack. I guess it will get tested once out, but we will know more once we see the gyno.

Big breath! *in *out *in *out calm calm calm ok ;)

Lets get the squash rackets out and smash this fucker up and get on with making a gazillion babies!

Hospital stay for JackJack

This actually happened mid September, just after his cousins birthday, but I hadn't finished it and posted it yet......

We've had an interesting few days.  Saturday night as we settled into bed, Jack developed a cough outta no where.  The cough was unlike any I had heard before, kinda sounded like it was being stifled in his throat, like a puppies yappy bark. 

The strange cough was all he had, no runny nose, temp, didn't seem slowed down at all....so we continued on with our plans for the day, Jack's cousins birthday party.

Jack had the cough a bit at the party, but still, not seeming slowed down and sick as such.  I'm guessing, looking back, that no one has had this before in our family, as no one else suggested anything about this cough....other then that it sounded "cute" coz he was loosing his voice with it.

Back at home later that arvo, I was growing concerned, the cough was more frequent and he began choking as he coughed.  At this point though, Tyler felt I was over reacting, especially when it was too late to go to a medical centre and our only option was going to our local hospitals emergency department.  I was wondering if he was trying to dismiss me simply out of exhaustion, we were all tired and in need of an early night, but muma instinct was not gonna give in here so we left for the hospital.

We were triaged pretty quickly. 

As Jack sat on his Daddy's knee, the cough became more frequent and huskier, going from puppy yap to big guard dog sounding bark, and straight away the two nurses were talking Croup.  Having no idea what croup is, other then that I'd seen many muma friends mentioning their children suffering it on their facebook statuses, I was thinking we were gonna be sent home being told it's nothing serious. 

The triage nurse gave him a dose of panadol to help with the temp he now had, and let us into the children's waiting room...a nice playroom with books, toys, tv and video games.

We were waiting in there for hours, and I was still convinced we'd be dismissed and sent home, so the wait wasn't concerning me from the point of view that he wasn't being treated, more that I'd have egg on my face with Tyler, who didn't want to bring him in the 1st place.

Those thoughts were pushed out quickly though, Jack progressed fast.....he had fallen asleep, then woke up choking, not catching any breath.  I had him on my knee, trying to sooth him, so I asked Tyler to go get the triage nurse..... He was checked over, and they looked on the computer to see how far up the list he was....still at least 4th on the list(crazy busy that night, 4 lots of ambo's were waiting along the corridor to hand over their patients).

The waiting was made slightly more bearable with volunteers working in the waiting room, offering drinks and even yogurt, which was so much appreciated as we arrived before we'd had dinner.

A doctor finally came to see Jack, at about 11pm.  By this stage his top was stripped as he'd been sweating, but then he was under a blanket he had asked for and he was dozing. 

The doctor started asking us questions as he peeled back the blanket off Jack's chest, and I was mortified at what we saw....As he breathed, his breast bone was being sucked in so deep, it looked like it went 3/4 to his back!  The doctor disappeared and re-appeared within minutes, telling Tyler to scoop Jack up and follow him, he led us to a bed....at this point we really realised things were serious, a nurse was walking an adult patient towards the same empty bed and started to argue it was hers, but the doctor dismissed her, saying our child needed urgent treatment.  The doctor was heavily accented(maybe German?) and lots of what he said was extra hard for my muffled hearing to understand, so I wasn't fully aware of what was going on, but next thing I knew our son had an oxygen mask on his face.

The sinking in his chest was getting deeper and longer, rattly noises were coming out as he struggled to breath and I was trying my damnedest to smile at him and tell him he looked so cool with the mask on...all the while stifling my own tears.

Greatly timed as well, we had miss placed my antidepressants script and spare tablet sheet and I was experiencing horrible withdrawals physically and emotionally as I hadn't had my meds.

The nurse swapped the face mask for another one that had a bottle attached to it that they had filled with liquids, adrenaline in saline that was breathed in as steam.  The doctor was lovely and encouraged me to get on the bed and have Jack sit on me, the more touching the calmer he would become. 

Heart monitors were also put on Jack's chest and after the adrenaline was through the other oxygen mask was put back on.  The doctor hovered closely and there was talk of transferring to a bigger hospital if the adrenaline didn't calm the stridor within half an hour - the "stridor" is the noise the throat was making and the sinking of the breast bone, and Croup was explained to us that it was to the throat what asthma is to the lungs, constricting and making it a fight to get air through.

The adrenaline gave Jack the shakes, as the doc had warned, so I held his hands as the sight of them shaking seemed to be distressing him.

Closer monitoring was happening, he was being constantly watched by two nurses and the doctor came by between each patient he saw....making it scarily very serious, we'd never had that much attention here before.

We heard the staff trying to get a bed at the other hospital, and they were not able to take anyone.....closer monitoring still, talk of what to do.  Usually you commonly come across some rough handling by emergency room docs, but this one was so insistent on gentleness, asking the nurses not to do anything they didn't need right in the moment, such as creaming his hands and arms up with numb cream for "just in case" needles, just leave him to settle on his muma and watch from afar.

I tried for as long as I could to hold my bladder, finally he seemed relaxed enough (or rather out of it enough) to cope with us swapping over and Tyler got on the bed with him while I nicked off to the loo.

I thought it best to leave the boys together on the bed and not disturb Jack too much, so I sat down beside them. 

The pic above was trying to capture the horrible suck in of his chest....what you see there is actually the furthest his chest was puffing out, the camera on my phone wasn't going off at the right time to capture the suck in...but you can imagine, with that image being his chest puffed out, yet it's sunken, just how terribly caved in it actually was.

Time passed as they continued to just watch and listen.  I was starving and we didn't have any cash with us for the vending machines, meanwhile the emergency department staff were having some sorta supper party right there at the desk in the middle of all the patients....selfish much?  Starving carers, nausea's patients, and they're all feasting!!!  Arrrr!  We started to try and make some light hearted jokes between us, Tyler and I, joking of ninja moves to go grab some food,

They decided at about 2am that Jack was stable enough not to be transferred, but needed to be monitored, so would be admitted up to the children's ward.  Damn my bladder getting me off the bed, Tyler got the free ride up there! lol

When the nurse on the ward met us at the entrance she said she could only see Tyler at first and thought it funny what a big kid she was receiving! haha

Jack was put into a bed, as appose to a cot, after they asked Tyler what he sleeps in. 

I was confused by this though, and so friggen annoyed, as the nurses were dead against co-sleeping, which present us with a number of issues. 

Firstly, I was told I could lay with him to nurse him off to sleep, but then the nurse came and told me to get out of the bed before Jack was asleep.  Then every time I tried to get off the bed and get my arm from under Jack, he woke back up, so I laid him down and knelt over him and lowered my boob into his mouth....this followed by weird looks by the nurse as she walked passed, then the doctor came in the room and watched on as if they thought I was harming my child.  I gave up and sat up in the chair and cuddled him and nursed him.  Needless to say, my eyes were popping by the time Tyler came in the morning!

One of the nurses had mentioned getting him something to cuddle to sooth him so I went and asked about it and they pointed to a box of knitted teddy's that I could choose from.  I choose this one coz all the others were anorexics with floppy heads, this one seemed the most cuddly, no matter that it's pink ;-P

We weren't prepared for an overnight stay and ran outta nappies, the children's ward only had the old square cloth nappies to use, which made for an interesting time for Muma.... I had no idea how to fold them, lol, despite having done these nappies while we had our newborn stay in hospital for his operation, I'd clean forgotten and wasn't about to ask the nurse for assistance coz she was snooty enough when I asked for the nappy.  She brought 3 nappies to me, so I used 2 at once, one in a big triangle and the other folded into a rectangle for the middle.  She did eventually bring pins, but by then I had tide the nappy up, so left it like this. She didn't offer any form of pilchers though, so I was hoping for Tyler arriving real soon coz if he wee'd it would soak through his clothes, eek. Funny thing is, not being our nappy we didn't have to clean it, and he pooed in it...hahahahaha Even funnier, Jack had eaten his cousins birthday cake the day before, which had food dye in it, and he had done green poo, which panicked the nurse! lol  We had to explain about the food dye ;)

How cute is this?!  JackJack's toast for breaky came cut into teddy bears ;)

Shame though, he didn't have an appetite at that stage.

After breaky I took Jack down to the playroom.

He found the car garage straight away and we sat on the floor running some cars down it's ramp.  Jack momentarily stopped to go grab the dolls and teddy that were in a little cradle, really cute, he set them all up to sit with him as he played ;)

Once Daddy got back to hospital, we were offered to bath him.

I would love this bath at home!!

It's bigger then an average bath, and it's hydraulic, able to have it's height adjusted.

I took a little break to go get myself some food downstairs, tried to find some car mags for the boys to look at, which totally went down a treat with JackJack!  Found a car imports mag and dirt bike mag....which the boys eagerly thumbed through.  We had to keep him doing low energy activities, even playing cars in the playroom earlier had got him worked up.

The mags were still a hit when Nanny came in to visit, so he settled down with her to show her all his favourites!

The roof view outside our window was brightened up by this gorgeous mural

Jack particularly liked this end of it, where he could see the "moooooon" and a "boo"(cow)

Later in the arvo Jack got really distressed and we couldn't calm him, which was aggravating the croup, so the nurse ran him another bath to see if that helped.

Thank heavens for big boobies, lol, the combination of sitting in the water and boobing from the edge finally chilled him out enough to calm the croup.

As visiting hours were called to a close, Nanny and JackJack had been in the playroom.  He wasn't ready to finish up yet, enjoying cookcook with some play dough, so I took him back in after saying goodnight to Nanny and Daddy.  Muma made "J" on a plate for Jack, and he enjoyed putting it into the oven.

All of the lights had stars around them, which excited our little star obsessed boy!

This pic was taken at about 4.30am on night 2....JackJack woke up coughing, not being able to settle again, he decided it was playtime and we went back to the playroom ;)

The nurse who came to check on us gave him some panadol, and when Jack wanted booby after taking the medicine, she exclaimed how prescious it was and that her 2yo is still on mummy's chest ;)  Gawd that was refreshing to hear...all the other nurses had some pretty negative ways of describing our nursing, "He seems to be able to feed when ever he wants!" translation- "No sign of weaning here at all?" ,  "Jack is still breastfed and feeds aloooot" translation- "Does that muma ever put her boob away?", and upon a nurse spotting yet another feed, she exclaimed "It's really more a comfort thing at that age, isn't it!"

Oooooh. My. Gawd.

This hospital is supposed to be accredited in the "Breastfeeding Friendly Initiative".  Perhaps they need to look further into this, after our experience it feels like perhaps their "Friendly" may faise out in the toddler years.  Yeah, I get it's not the norm in society, but within an accredited hospital it should be.

Back in the playroom after breaky, and on this day, tuesday, there was a facilitator working in there and she had the easel out to do drawings and extra toys and fresh play dough with biscuit cutters....which Jack delighted in, pressing "toletoos"(turtles) all over his piece.

Day 3, after 2 nights staying in hospital we got to break free!!!

The morning doctors rounds, we were lucky enough to get Jack's own paediatrician for the 2nd day(seeing us the day before as well). The nurses reported Jack having a stridor at rest overnight, as well as approx 1 in 20 heart beats pausing.  Our paediatrician checked him over and felt that at this stage it was safe to be discharged, where his familiar home environment would further help recovery, also adding that he didn't want to catch Jack back in here!!

Back home and sleeping as he likes it....cuddled into Muma with booby in mouth and cars in hand ;)

Jack and his new ted bear, showing off their matching knitted beanies, which muma got from the ward desk display for $2 each!  She doesn't have a name yet, every time I ask Jack, he says "naaaamme!" lol

It's now a week since he was admitted.  The croup has gone!  We had our follow up with our GP on friday, and he is happy with his progress, just like having a bad cold now, normal sounding cough and runny nose.

Welcome to the family, son!

JackJack and I would like to share with you all our new family member.....

This is Joshua David, he is 3yrs old.

He lives in Nicaragua Central America, he is an only child and just like Jack, his Muma is a SAHM and Daddy is a Carpenter.

They're language is Spanish.

I have always wanted to take on a sponsor child, but never felt the timing was right(especially finance wise), but then when a world vision lady came door knocking it felt so right.  She was a compassionate lady, well trained with the gift of the gab! No matter, we were ready for our child.  Our finances are appalling for our own nations standard of comfort, but these kids live on nothing, and spare change can make such a huge difference to them.

I figured, like anything else I manage to justify in spending, I'd find a way to make these payments, and taking on a sponsor child opens the way up for teaching JackJack so very much.....about another country, how other children live, to appreciate and value what we have in our own lives, compassion and caring for others, and even things like money management as he gets older and can help me with saving our dollars and contemplating how our funds will help Joshua David.

We have been told that correspondence will be slow, due the language barrier everything needs translating, but at both Jack's and Joshua David's tender ages I figure exchanging of drawings would be a great start!

Rainbow play

Ok, so I haven't blogged about Papa's fish tank birthday present yet, but in the meantime....look at our gorgeous discovery, because of it!

Some little rainbows have been streaming into Nanny and Papa's lounge room, via the sunlight going through the 2 glass walls at the corner of the fish tank

In the afternoon, the sun streaming in through the backdoor brightly shines through the front corner of the tank

How gorgeous is this?!! The rays of light break up into a rainbow...this is on a towel

Here, I managed to sit in front of the towel, but then you can also see another rainbow in the background, on the couch

Rainbow hand!

Lol JackJack wonders what is on him!

My rainbow boy!

Rainbow JenJen!!! haha

Cloth Nappy Expo

This weekend, we attended a cloth nappy expo at a nearby town. 

Jack and I went last year and it was when we were new to cloth, so finding out more about the different types was my main aim, though we also discovered some gorgeous fare trade toys(where we bought Jacks beloved banana and grapes soft toys from) and I blushed at the thought of muma pads and skipped all those stalls! lol

Well, 12mths on and I was keen to check out the range of muma pads on offer, having been a convert for around 8mths now!

We also got Tyler to come along with us, and just as well coz the lucky ducky won a door prize.....this dude's always winning prizes, he balances out my crappy luck.

Tyler got to choose from a table full of goodies, including nappies, wet bags, toys and clothes.

He chose this gorgeous soft toy cockatoo, which he had obviously been eyeing off on the way in the door coz as soon as his name was called he said he wanted the bird! ha ha Bit excited he was ;)

Our friend was running one of the nappy stalls, but she was so successfully busy today that we didn't even get a chance to say hello!

We did however come away with some awesome bargain goodies.....

These gorgeous hand knitted finger puppets, made by a grandmother of a stall holder, 10 for $10!  We got Thomas the Tank Engine, Noddy, Bert & Ernie, Big Bird, Banana in Pajamas, Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch, a cookcook lady, and Dorothy the Dinosaur.

Sample bag of soap nuts, which I cant wait to try, $4.

And grey transport babylegs $2!

We also had a quick looky at a local carboot sale, where we stopped coz I spotted a rainbow umbrella, but alas it wasn't for sale :(  But we did come away with some super delicious sausages in bread from the sausage sizzle!!!! Mmmmm love a good sausage sizzle ;)

Soccer babe...

Last term, we started JackJack in a new activity, the bestest most funnest activity he's tried so far!  I hadn't blogged it yet coz it took them a while to get the uniforms in(yep, uniforms!) and they just complete the cuteness factor ;)

It's Soccer Time Kids, and it's a fun based playgroup style parent/child soccer lesson.

It's hosted on the weekend, which means it's a Daddy friendly activity, and most of the tots do it with their Daddy's.

They start the session off with a little boogy to nursery rhymes

Warming up as they jump and stomp and shake their arms around

Then go for a run around the hall, throwing in some aeroplane arms and jumping and stopping to touch toes and sit down and twirl around on their bottoms

Then from sitting down with their parent, a run up to Coach and a high five to her, and run back to Daddy

Sometimes JackJack needs encouragement to go back to sit down, he really loves his coach!

Then it's on to little one on one activities with Daddy, with Coach coming around to check how they're going.

In the above pic, Jack learns to kick backwards, using a pod to aim for

Now kicking backwards, and learning colours, by being asked by Daddy to kick the blue/yellow or red skittle

His coaches call him "Smiley"!

Now kicking the ball backwards into a pyramid of skittles

And Coach says when you hit your target or get a goal you put your arms in the air and go "Yeeeeaaah!" coz you're a soccer champion!! ;)

All the skittles are put everywhere and the tots are shown to snake through and around them, then coach calls out a colour and they have to go knock the colour over

Picking up beanbags and balancing on their heads

Sleeping lions in between the goals.....

Then the balls are tipped out and the tots stand up and kick as many goals as they can!

Coach helps Jack aim for a goal

Stretching over the hurdles in an obstacle course

Balancing beem....how funky is it?!

Kicking a goal through giraffes legs

Through the hoop and into the rainbow circle(how funky would these blocks look around a sandpit?!!)

Then they finish with some more nursery rhyme dancing and some special stickers off Coach

And they have a certificate to put their weekly stickers on ;)