Firstly, let me send out a lil apology to Jenni....I know this won't have been easy to upload on your iphone, but I'm sure you will appreciate the pics of insight into our circle ;)
So, guess what, I felt really grown up today when I took myself off to get my first e-tag! Lame I know, but do you ever get those moments that you're still blown away that you're an adult? I do, all the time! I'm blown away when I'm being driven around by one of my siblings or mates that I grew up with....it's like "whoa, you can drive!" (so imagine the little trip out I have when I'm behind the wheel myself! lol), and when I'm out some places on my own...important places, far away places or at night time...no parents, how grown ups that!! lmao Oh please tell me I'm not the only one in my late 20's still adjusting to adulthood? *blush
Anyway, the e-tag meant I could take tolls all the way to our destination(pretty exciting to be on there and not be worrying about needing to remember to pay after too! lol), though I did manage to get a little lost both ways, between the location and where to get on/off citylink. Jack had been napping with Nanny before we left so this week he was wide awake for the trip up and was squealing with glee "Caaaarrrrr!!!" "Busssssss" "Biiiike" the entire time, gosh it bubbles my heart over to be with this child!
Tonight I was so much more comfortable, it was like returning to a safe zone. Even Jack was happy, not that he's anything else, but when we pulled up outside he excitedly said "dunce dunce!", must have remembered he had a dance here last week.
When we arrived the women were helping themselves to the lovely smelling herbal teas. I even got greeted with a hug from one of them! Unfortunately my clumsiness had me stand on her foot, but still, nice to be hugged ;)
As we gathered in our circle, we started off by "touching base" or "checking in". Basically, a brief run down of our week and where we were at. For those of you readers who haven't spoken to me in "real life", let me just say that I'm pretty great at being socially retarded. What's going on in my head doesn't translate to be anything nearly as graceful or articulate....but I am surprising myself here. This circle is really perfect for me, it's exactly where I need to be right now, it's evoking things in me....some scary, but even in the scary, it's all hope of a better me. As you'll know from the previous post, this week has been challenging for me, and when I put it out there in the circle I found that it reflected more positively then I could see inside my head. I could see that I am seeing more positives in the negatives, and that I am learning to be open to putting myself out there.
For this weeks activity, the pastels and paper came back out....delightful for JackJack, who still found them rather tasty this week ;-0 lol
Our task was to "draw the grief". It could be a specific grief, or just general hurt that we had felt. Once we had finished we paired up and exchanged our drawings, one at a time we worked on the others drawing. Everyone has a "healer" in them they say, so our task was to look at our partners drawing, study it for a few minutes, then "heal the grief". Not as nerve racking as last weeks "expressive dancing", but still pressure!!
We had to do it one at a time, so that as the other drew, you looked on and watched the transformation.
My partner took my drawing...which I tried to be more "abstract" with this week...I made a big black circle that had lots of red flowing out of it. In my mind, I had drawn my womb....black because it's dark and empty. The red flow, while you could simply take it as menstruation, was more the anger at it emptying.
She studied it for a while, then picked up the pastels and set to work.......
Either side of the red flow, she added some yellow....which at first as I was thinking "don't add to it! More emptying", but then as both sides formed it appeared embracing of the flow, protective. She also took the red pastel and made a line at the end of all my drawn red flow...making an "end" to it all. Then on the black circle area, part of it she added random bits of brown. Again, it had me thinking "agh, makes it look like it's not right, unhealthy maybe". Then with a white pastel, turned on it's side, she dragged it down one side of the circle.....as she started this, I was thinking "oh that's making it less harsh, less bad", then she stopped, leaving only half of the circle done. As soon as she took the pastel off the page, I saw Yin Yang in my circle.
Our circle, drawing with pastels, as JackJack played with cars and did his own drawing
JackJack lining up his cars. To the left you can see my drawing, before it was healed.
Sheree joins Jack for some pastel drawing
After all the drawings were healed, we came back to the circle to discuss how we felt about our renewed drawings. It was blissful listening to the other women and seeing the beautiful pictures.
When it was my turn, I shared how I felt about the embracing of the flow and the yin yang. Surprisingly, my partner had not even realised she made it look like yin yang, once I said it, everyone could see it and liked the interpretation. I felt the healing gave the message that I should embrace the flow and my womb is becoming balanced. Excitingly, the women also added that they didn't see the red bit as something flowing out, but rather something...a placenta....merging inward, into the womb (Woot! My heart skipped a beat with this!).
As time came to an end, Sheree went off and came back with her husband, and two of their children in toe....to excitedly present Courtney with a birthday cake!
A luscious sponge cake topped with kiwi fruit.....yum yum.
Just a shame my lil sweet tooth had conked out only moments before!
Another soul nourishing week....and then I went and embarrassed myself at the end by having a ripper fart come outta now where as I got up off the floor!! Seriously....I have had an embarrassing case of fart incontinence ever since Jack's pregnancy, it's mortifying!
Luckily, they made light of it, and one of them said "better out then in!" lol
FYI....no circle next week as half of us can't attend....so next update in 2 weeks ;)
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