Proud to be an Attached Daddy...

I don't know about all you Muma's, but personally I had been wondering sometimes whether I am being the "ball and chain" wife that I fear and my husband is whipped and just goes with whatever his wife says.  But now I'm more comfortable in our parenting.  Now I do see we parent as a team, it doesn't matter that the style of parenting came from my ideals, what matters is unity in our parenting ;)

I've discovered more and more recently that my husband really does enjoy our parenting style.  While he's never said anything against it, I hadn't been sure he was 100% there with me 'til now.

As many of you will know from this blog, I've been under attack from a few angles about my breastfeeding.  I was not aware of the full extend I had let these nasty people effect me, 'til Tyler asked me why I've stopped nursing in public.  I was baffled at first, asking him what did he mean, and he said he'd watched Jack several times make an attempt to ask for a feed and I had offered him water instead or plain out denied him! :-0

My intentions with our breastfeeding has always been to let Jack self wean, and to adopt the policy "never offer, never deny" which means anytime you see my son nurse is because he has asked for it, not me forcing it on him(not that you can force a latch!).  But why had I started denying?

When Tyler brought this up with me, we were at the zoo, and finding a spot to stop for lunch.  I had asked him to find a quieter spot then where he was stopping(right next to the line to see the baby elephant), and he then questioned me.  He said this was not like me, that I've been comfortable in the past to feed anywhere, no matter how busy, why not now?  And why had I started to try and get our son to drink water over breast milk? Was I wanting to wean him?

Was I wanting to wean him?

Wow, that was the words I needed to hear to shock me outta this silliness of getting shy to feed in public!

No!  It's up to Jack to decide when he wants to wean, not Muma.  So what was all this about?

My husband, my darling husband, man of few words, had actually been listening this whole time through all the crap that's been happening.  He knew exactly what had sent me shy.....the ignorant attacks from cross-nursing, and the ridicule of my  face book profile pic of me feeding Jack with him standing beside me rather then laying on my lap....all of this was defeating me.  All of it had taken it's toll and made me second guess my parenting.

In that moment, at the zoo, I was blessed with the realisation that it wasn't in fact my parenting, but our parenting!  My husband did support my extended breastfeeding, in fact he was encouraging it!  It doesn't take a million words from this man to know exactly what he means to say....."Get over it and get on with it"....not much more then that, and with that I picked up our son and filled him full of milky goodness....as his Daddy watched on, singing "Jack loves booby, Jack loves booby, Jack loves booby yeah yeah yeah yeah!", as he often does! lol

Daddy giving buba belly blurts during a breastfeed-fathers day 2009.

Tyler has also been great with adopting baby wearing, over the use of a pram.....

Especially surprising has been his coolness with Muma's decision to swap us to cloth nappies ;)

At first, I thought he would despise it all, and showing him that MCN are as easy to put on bub as disposables, I told him his involvement can end there and I would take care of all the laundering, but he has even been fantastic with doing the washing...taking care to turn them inside out to dry them.  He especially loves the fact that the nappies are multi-coloured...having fun moments with Jack during nappy changing time when they choose from the pile what colour to wear next!

Daddy changing JackJack's nappy on an outing.

But the BIGGEST and nicest surprise of all has been Tyler's support and LOVE of co-sleeping!!!!!!!

This was something I started it of sheer exhaustion with night feeds. At first bub wasn't settling when newborn, so he spent some of the night sleeping on my chest, which was oh so cozy!  Then when he was settling in his cradle, the feeds through the night were draining me beyond zombie, especially when I tried to be considerate of Tyler's sleep and took jack to another room to feed, which meant by the time we both got back to bed I was wide awake and often didn't get back to sleep 'til the next feed was near.  So, for us, co-sleeping was the solution, a solution that was meant to be temporary.  Golly we copped criticism of it!!  Not just the supposed danger factors, but that we were "making a rod for our back"...meaning once he was in with us we'd have trouble getting him out.

Well, as it turns out, we haven't got him out yet, but not for failing, but for all of us being happy with co-sleeping!

Buba gets more feeds this way, neither he nor I fully wake for him to find his milk.  Daddy isn't disturbed coz bub rarely gets to the point of crying when Muma is right there with him, and we all get more sleep!

The thing is though, seeing in the beginning how frowned upon this was, I stopped talking about it, didn't admit to it, let others believe what they were presuming....that bub slept in a cot in his own room.  It's silly really, I'm not shamed of co-sleeping, but it's just not worth it to explain your reasoning to people who don't get it.

With my public since in mind, it has been a delightful shock to hear on several occasions of late, my husband boasting about co-sleeping!

He brags about how funny it is to come home from work at 3am and find JackJack in all interesting positions....starting off the night right next to Muma, often ending up sideways and down the foot of the bed or topsy turvy!  Telling people how we have two beds side by side for extra room, and how buba will roam around both beds, sometimes nuzzling into Daddy for hugs.  How we sometimes roll onto little matchbox cars that have been brought to bed!  How we've put a stool by the base of the bed and bub gets himself up in the morning and explores the house before we join him for breakfast.

It warmed my heart to hear Tyler talk like this!!

Daddy and JackJack(approx 3mths), sound asleep together

JackJack(approx 8mths) excited to wake up next to Daddy.

Thank-you, Tyler, for being my co-pilot through the wonderful world of parenting xxx